Precious Panda # 7
Walk of Shame
The first time I got really drunk was during a debate conference in Krakow, Poland, during my sophomore year in college. Apparently what happens in Poland doesn’t stay in Poland, because over the years, the story of my Krakow debauchery has spread further and faster than that new Harry Potter book. Blimey!
It was our first night in town, so we decided to have a little fun. At the time, my experience with alcohol consisted mostly of that time my brother Paul fed my dog beer until she ran into the furniture. Consequently, when my friends kept buying me drinks, I figured I would be fine since they were in these really small glasses. As it turns out, my friends were just waiting to see if I would run into the furniture. I didn’t disappoint them.
I don’t remember a lot from that night in Krakow, but I’m told that over the course of the evening, I did each of the following:
--Decided that pants were improperly designed and took my jeans off and put them back on backwards, in the middle of the street.
--Shouted at a stranger, “those aren’t letters! You made up letters! Who the hell do you think you are?” while gesturing angrily at a billboard in Cyrillic.
--Did my part to reject obnoxious American stereotypes and overtly flirted with every woman within 17 kilometers.
--Stumbled into a McDonalds at 1:30 in the morning and loudly ordered a “royale with cheese,” then went into the bathroom and fell asleep on the toilet.
For my friends, it was a night to remember, and for me, it was the most embarrassing evening of my life. I will say this, though—for someone who was doing their first drunk walk on Polish cobblestones, I think I hung in there pretty well.
The first time I got really drunk was during a debate conference in Krakow, Poland, during my sophomore year in college. Apparently what happens in Poland doesn’t stay in Poland, because over the years, the story of my Krakow debauchery has spread further and faster than that new Harry Potter book. Blimey!
It was our first night in town, so we decided to have a little fun. At the time, my experience with alcohol consisted mostly of that time my brother Paul fed my dog beer until she ran into the furniture. Consequently, when my friends kept buying me drinks, I figured I would be fine since they were in these really small glasses. As it turns out, my friends were just waiting to see if I would run into the furniture. I didn’t disappoint them.
I don’t remember a lot from that night in Krakow, but I’m told that over the course of the evening, I did each of the following:
--Decided that pants were improperly designed and took my jeans off and put them back on backwards, in the middle of the street.
--Shouted at a stranger, “those aren’t letters! You made up letters! Who the hell do you think you are?” while gesturing angrily at a billboard in Cyrillic.
--Did my part to reject obnoxious American stereotypes and overtly flirted with every woman within 17 kilometers.
--Stumbled into a McDonalds at 1:30 in the morning and loudly ordered a “royale with cheese,” then went into the bathroom and fell asleep on the toilet.
For my friends, it was a night to remember, and for me, it was the most embarrassing evening of my life. I will say this, though—for someone who was doing their first drunk walk on Polish cobblestones, I think I hung in there pretty well.
posted by Anonymous at 7:45 PM
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