Wordy Woodpecker #4

It has often been said you can’t fully understand what is truly valuable until you have experienced a time without what is valuable. Having been somewhat of a loner in years past, I can understand how each of the little things involved with being in someone’s company is truly valuable. Being with a friend does not make a meal any tastier, a movie’s actors perform any better, and coffee doesn’t get any tastier or more caffeinated with a friend. Yet we feel compelled to perform these actions with a friend or acquaintance. Why is this the case?

One of the major “little things” I enjoy with others is the verification of thoughts. Consider a comedy club. When you are among the crowd, even the tamest of jokes tends to get you laughing. But if you are alone watching the performance on TV, you find yourself laughing only at the funniest of jokes. The performance of the comedian is the exact same, but I would find myself clearly having a better time at the comedy club itself. When in the company of other people, every small laugh verifies the thought in my head that the joke was funny and makes me less likely to be embarrassed at laughing at a “cheesy” joke. Sure, one can say this is irrational, but this is an irrationality built into our subconscious. And instead of shunning the unavoidable irrationality, one should embrace it and greater enjoy the little things. Moreover, the verification of thoughts can act as a great salve to frustration over events past. To know that others have gone through what you have puts your predicament into perspective, and allows you to realize that you aren’t alone, in more than one sense.

Another “little thing” I enjoy with others is a sort of mutual happiness. For some reason, observing people happy tends to make oneself happy. Especially when I know that I have caused the happiness, I just feel good. As they say, smiles are contagious. As a nonbeliever, I do not believe that I will be rewarded by my good acts by being sent to heaven; in fact, if there was a heaven and hell, I would be most likely sent to hell for being a dirty atheist. Or maybe purgatory, aka God’s version of the bureaucratic DMV which makes hell seem like a nice place. So it certainly is irrational that I would feel happiness for bringing happiness to others, but I do. And much like for the verification of thoughts, this unavoidable irrationality is not to be shunned, but embraced.

For many years, I demanded of myself that I would be purely rational. Since the movie remains unchanged regardless of who I bring, what should I go along with anybody? But then I realized by cold calculations forgot the irrational, but important, positive feelings associated with being in someone’s company. And to try to ignore these feelings is, in a word, irrational.