Daring Dragonfly #1

I knew the music long before I ever saw the movie. I grew up listening to it as my grandfather and I embarked on another great adventure. And when I finally saw the movie, it changed my life. It was the story of Don Quixote, and it was called “The Man of La Mancha.” It was a story about Miguel de Cervantes, held for the Inquisition, and forced to put on a play by his fellow prisoners. But instead of me telling you the tale, I shall relate it to you as I first heard it, from Cervantes himself:

I shall impersonate a man. His name is Alonso Quijana, a country squire no longer young. Being retired, he has much time for books. He studies them from morn till night and often through the night and morn again, and all he reads oppresses him; fills him with indignation at man's murderous ways toward man. He ponders the problem of how to make better a world where evil brings profit and virtue none at all; … He lays down the melancholy burden of sanity and conceives the strangest project ever imagined - -to become a knight-errant, … No longer will he be plain Alonso Quijana, but a dauntless knight known as Don Quixote de La Mancha.

And with these words, we are transported to a magical world where chivalry is still practiced, and windmills resemble giants. Along with his “squire” Sancho, Don Quixote makes his way through life righting wrongs and doing good as he sees fit. This greatly affected me as a young boy. On the one hand, I was drawn to the lyric from “The Impossible Dream” that the world would be better because one man was willing to stand up and do what is right, to reach the unreachable star and dream the impossible dream. And yet, at the same time, it seemed sad that the only man who would attempt to do right was one who had gone insane. I had always felt that I wanted to do what was right, and this made me wonder if perhaps I might be crazy. And yet, at its core, the story of Don Quixote is an aspirational one. Despite the odds, despite the words of others, this man would do what he believed to be right. And he would never sway from this quest.

And a great many people tried to stop him. Not just his enemies, but also his family. Alonso Quijana’s niece was concerned for his mental health, and so, in an effort to help him, she hired a psychiatrist to try and cure him of his madness. While she thought she was doing what was best for him, she was, in fact, attempting to thwart him in his quest to do good. This made me re-examine the role that friends and family play in our lives. Sometimes, when our friends think they are helping us out, they are really hindering us. It made me realize that just because everyone I knew was against something, or was trying to talk me out of doing something, it wasn’t necessarily wrong. And that doing what everyone else was doing was not necessarily right. It helped shape my independence and willingness to take risks.

Again, Cervantes, playing Quijana, brought to a moment of lucidity by the psychiatrist in the role of the “Knight of Mirrors,” has an answer for those who urge us to always do the sane or right thing:

I've been a soldier and a slave. I've seen my comrades fall in battle or die more slowly under the lash in Africa. I've held them in my arms at the final moment. These were men who saw life as it is, yet they died despairing. No glory, no brave last words, only their eyes, filled with confusion, questioning "Why?" When life itself seems lunatic, who knows where madness lies? Too much sanity may be madness. To surrender dreams - -this may be madness; to seek treasure where there is only trash, this may be madness! And maddest of all - -to see life as it is and not as it should be.

This quotation, too, had a profound impact. It acknowledges that sometimes, the world is a crazy place. And when that is the case, trying to fit in without changing things may be the craziest move of all. Never give up your dreams, Cervantes extorts. Here, there is an echo of Robert Kennedy, who said “Some see the world as it is, and ask ‘why?’. I look at the world as it could be, and ask ‘why not?’” Ever since hearing these words, I have strived to see the world as it should be, and to figure out what I can do to make that vision a reality. Because if everyone would do this, then perhaps, just perhaps, we could take the first steps toward making that better world.

I’ve read many books in my life, and I’ve seen many movies. Some have made me laugh, others have made me cry. But this one movie has had the greatest impact. And the conclusion of the story of Don Quixote is just as powerful. Having been broken by the psychiatrist, and returned to the real world, Alonso Quijana lies dying in his home. He is visited by his squire and his lady, who extort him to remember his life as Don Quixote. They succeed and he calls for his armor and sword. But seeing his ill condition, his lady warns him that he is not well. His response:

Not well? What is illness to the body of a knight-errant? What matter wounds? For each time he falls, he shall rise again, and woe to the wicked.

Even on the verge of dying, Don Quixote never gave up. He rose from his bed and prepared to do battle with evil. And while he may have lost his battle, his spirit lived on. The movie ends with Cervantes being called before the Grand Inquisitor, and marching up the stairs to his fate. We never do find out what happens, but we are left with the image of a man who walked head first and chin up to his destiny, unafraid. And this is how I’ve attempted to face the challenges in my life. I still love the movie, and watch it anytime it’s on. I own the soundtrack, and listen to it fairly regularly. And every time I do, I’m reminded to always strive to dream the impossible dream and reach the unreachable star.